


Talk to Me

by CosmicCove



Category: Soma Spirits
Genre: Brotherly Love, But I also project onto Heart a bit too so, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Friend Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I project onto Soul so much, I'm hyperfixated on Soma Spirits though, It's more likely than you think!, Me? Writing fanfiction for fandoms that don't exist?, Not Beta Read, Not proofread either lol, Sibling Bonding, anyways back to on topic, screw the norm lets write fanfiction for the tiny things we enjoy that no one knows about
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 20:00:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29356107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CosmicCove/pseuds/CosmicCove
Summary: Soul pretends that he's doing fine.  Heart knows that he is absolutely not.---First fanfiction for this fandom!  Unsurprising!  But I'm still proud of myself!
Relationships: Heart & Soul





	Talk to Me

Soul yelped, and shot straight up. Next to him, Dockery jumped, his bells ringing slightly as he was awakened by the sudden motion. "Sorry," Soul muttered. 

"You've been doing this everyday since Soma became one. You should probably do something about this," Dockery advised. 

Soul sighed, "What is there to do about it? It's just nightmares, they'll go away." 

Dockery glanced away from Soul to look at Heart, who was sound asleep across the room. Ever since Soma had become one again, the brothers had been living together. Their houses had merged, after all, it was just easier. Dockery suggested, "Maybe you should talk to him." 

"I don't want to drag him into this," Soul argued, shaking his head. He couldn't imagine Heart, sweet and upbeat, would understand that it was no big deal. Heart was the kind of person to blow something as simple as recurring nightmares out of proportion. Soul added, "I think it would stress him out." 

"He'll notice eventually. Besides, it involves him, doesn't it?" Dockery pointed out, "You two are too close for you to brush him off like this." 

"I'm not brushing him off, I'm just waiting it out," Soul pouted. 

Docker insisted, "You can't just wait it out. It's not good for you." 

Soul glared at Dockery. "Leave me alone. I'm not waking Heart up, and I'm not bothering him over something as silly as nightmares. That's stupid." 

"You can wait until he wakes up." 

"No. I'm not making this anyone's problem but my own. That's final," Soul hissed. 

"You always say that telling people the problem helps most," Dockery mumbled, "Don't you want help?" 

"Shut up, Dockery," Soul grumbled, burrowing into his gray blankets. He didn't feel like going back to sleep, if he was being honest with himself. He wasn't a fan of seeing the same horrible things over and over again. Despite the distress (that he wouldn't admit he was feeling), Soul fell back asleep. 

Hours later, his eyes blinked open as a gentle voice next to him cooed, "Soul… Hey, Soul." As he woke up, he noticed Heart standing over him with an eager smile that grew even wider as he realized his brother was awake. "Good morning, Soul!" he greeted. 

"I guess," Soul hummed. He was grateful to be awake, but he didn't have the energy to match Heart's, especially not so early. He couldn't understand how his brother could possibly feel so peppy first thing in the morning, but he couldn't find it in himself to outright reject Heart's statement and make his smile waver, although he also refused to agree fully. Though, judging by the light streaming in through the windows, it wasn't as early as he usually woke up. As a list of morning duties flashed into Soul's mind, he asked, "What time is it? 

"It's 11:30," Heart answered, his smile more sheepish as he spoke. 

Soul groaned. "You have to wake me up earlier. I have to do my morning tasks!" He jumped out of bed. 

"It's okay, Soul! I did them for you," Heart cheered. He grinned, feeling helpful. 

Soul looked at him in surprise. Of course, it wasn't a surprise that Heart would do tasks for him, but Soul could not think of a reason for Heart to think to do his tasks for him. "Why?" 

"Well, I knew you had tasks to do, and Dockery told me you needed more sleep, and you like to sleep in anyways. So I figured-" 

"Dockery! Of course!" Soul hissed. A wave of rage washed over him for a moment as a sense of betrayal set in. 

"Soul?" Heart peeped, "Are you feeling okay?" 

Soul took a deep breath to douse out his anger. "I'm fine. Now, come on, let me get ready." 

* * *

Soul was at a loss for what to do with his rounds completed. So, while Heart and some of the other residents of the Garden were chatting, Soul slipped away into the forest. He liked the still quiet of it, the way that the trees blocked the light from getting in his eyes. There was nobody to run into, and as much as he loved his people, he enjoyed solitude. It was completely peaceful- almost. 

Soul couldn't get used to this world. It wasn't like his sorrow world, where he felt powerful, yet it wasn't like the joy world, where he felt too out of place. Instead, he felt uncomfortable, dull, like he was supposed to be here, yet he was doing it wrong. There was an inherent incorrectness to his existence, he felt. It made his skin crawl. 

Heart had adjusted so easily, and while Soul was happy for his brother, he couldn't help but feel guilty about his own ability to adjust (as well as a tinge of jealousy towards Heart's success, which made him feel even more guilty). Then again, Heart was already familiar with color, even if he was used to a more technicolor pallet. There was no place for Soul to go that was reminiscent of his old monochrome home. This world of color was his new home, though, and now he had to hide away in the forest trying not to be too overwhelmed by the inescapable, headache-inducing color. 

Near him, the branches of a tree rustled. Soul tensed, his fingers brushing against the hilt of his swords. Instead of some monstrous creature, a familiar red figure popped out of the pine needles. Soul huffed, "Oh, go away!" He didn't really mean it. 

"I want to talk with you," Heart told him. Soul could see that Heart was serious. Heart didn't go without a smile unless he had a good reason to. 

"Fine," Soul agreed. Heart being serious was a little uncanny, so Soul would bite the bullet. He glanced around the woods again, wary of anything, or anybody, that could be lurking around. 

Heart smiled slightly, but Soul felt it was more sympathetic than happy. "Come, we don't have to talk here," Heart suggested, "We can go to that cliff side that we liked a lot when we were younger! Would you like that?" 

Soul nodded. The cliffs made it more personal. At least he and Heart could agree on that. 

"Why do you want to though?" Soul asked, "Dockery isn't making you, is he? I swear, he makes it look worse than it is." 

"No," Heart answered, "I can just tell that we need to talk. _You_ need to talk." 

Soul opened his mouth to argue, but closed his mouth with a sigh when no good argument came to him. As much as he wanted to keep to himself, he knew that Heart and Dockery were right. It was frustrating, not being able to fix it alone, but he knew he couldn't hide it anymore. He knew better to shrug it off too; Heart's concern would worsen, and Soul couldn't stand to be a burden to his brother. Heart might not make connections immediately, but he wasn't stupid. Dockery or not, Heart was going to notice something was off sooner or later. So, he followed in silence to the cliff side. 

During their childhoods, the cliffs had been a thrill, a glance at just how vast the world was, a peek into the future, when they would be the guardians of the whole of Soma. Now they were older and had explored all of Soma, and the cliffs were a place of respite. In all of the vastness, it was small, comfortable, special. Heart sat down on the grass, and patted the ground beside him as an invitation to Soul to join him. Soul sat down next to him and looked out at the sea, taking in the view, though he'd had it memorized since he was old enough to wander alone. Even the new color of the joined Soma hardly changed it, and for that Soul was thankful beyond compare. 

A silence stretched for a bit, and Soul could tell that Heart was searching for the right words. This was a little surprising and strangely off-putting; Heart was usually a talk first, think later kind of person, even when his intentions were pure. Finally, Heart asked, "Soul, what's wrong?" 

"Nothing, really. I'm just having trouble sleeping," Soul replied. 

Heart looked at him, clearly unconvinced, his eyes wide and worried. "Soul you need to talk about this." 

"I don't need to talk about anything," Soul retorted. 

"You know what you would say if you were talking to me right now?" Heart told him, "You'd say 'take a moment out of your misery and tell me the problem.' Right?" 

Soul huffed. "Yeah, I would." 

"See? You can trust me," Heart promised. 

"I know." Soul paused a moment to organize his thoughts. "Remember the Sun King's Citadel?" 

"Yeah." How could he forget? 

"And you remember what happened there?" 

"I'm not as forgetful as you apparently think I am." Heart briefly flashed a playful smile, but it faded fast. "Why? What about it." 

"Do you ever wonder what could have happened if something went wrong?" 

"No, I don't think about those kinds of possibilities," Heart admitted, "I haven't even thought to think about it. I just think about how it actually happened." 

Soul was stunned, but he didn't show it on his face. He mumbled, "I envy you sometimes." 

"Huh? Why?" Heart gasped. 

"You live in the present. You never dwell on the past or worry about the future. You're so well adjusted to how the world is right now even though I have to close my eyes sometimes just so the constant color doesn't give me a headache," Soul ranted, keeping his voice low despite the harsh emotion he felt, "You've grown so much from our adventure! And me? I got nightmares…" His voice faded out on the last statement, and he lowered his head in shame. 

Heart stared for a moment, his mouth forming a tiny o shape and his eyes still wide and worried. "Wow, Soul. It seems like you've been dealing with so much on your own. I wish you hadn't had to, but now you don't." Heart smiled softly at him. "I'm here now." 

Soul heaved a sigh, feeling as though a weight had lifted from him. Heart had been right, he needed to talk to someone. "Thank you." 

"Are you comfortable telling me more about the nightmares you're having?" Heart asked, "What are they about?" 

Soul looked down at his hands, which were folded in his lap. He whispered, "Absolution." 

"That's understandable. I think Absolution is my greatest fear too," Heart replied. 

"No, that's… That's not it," Soul corrected, "It's different. It's not the same as what we did." 

"It's different? Different how?" 

Soul looked at Heart for a moment, and Heart could see the same vulnerability that had been in Soul's eyes when he was telling him to keep fighting during their face-off with Absolution. "You- You don't-" he stuttered, looking back down at his hands. He whispered, "My greatest fear is losing you. I mean, what would I even do without you? That's not a life I want to live." 

"Oh, Soul!" Heart whimpered, pulling his brother into a hug. Usually, Soul would pull away, but right now he felt like he needed it. 

"I don't know how you do it," Soul confessed, "How you can so easily leave these things behind." 

"I just know it's over and we won," Heart explained, "Once it's over, it can't change." 

"But even when it's over, everything is still changed forever," Soul pointed out. 

"That's true," Heart hummed thoughtfully, "But at least this forever is good!" He grinned at Soul, his happiness seeming to be an invitation for Soul to join him in smiling. 

Soul nodded, the movement hardly visible. "It's alright." No matter what, he couldn't emulate his brother's enthusiasm. He wasn't even sure he wanted to. 

Heart continued, "And I'm still here. I won't ever disappear!" 

"I know you won't. Not if I can help it. But I worry for you, all the same." 

"I worry for you too. That's why I'm talking to you right now." 

Soul took a deep breath. "Thank you." 

"You're welcome!" Heart paused for a moment. "Is there anything I can do to help?" 

"No, this is on me. You don't have to do anything," Soul assured him, "I'll come around." 

"Soul," Heart reprimanded, drawing out the word. "You just can't do some things alone. It's my job to make sure people are happy, or at least content, and that includes you." 

Soul found that he was unable to find a proper argument. "I just don't want to worry you anymore than I already have," he mumbled, feeling a little stupid as he did so. 

"No, it doesn't worry me when you ask for help, silly! You've got it all turned around," Heart told him, "I get worried when you bury your feelings and pretend you're alright when you're not, because then I don't know how to help you." Heart took Soul by the shoulders and looked him in the eyes with more seriousness than Soul thought his brother could ever be. "Please. Tell me how I can help you." 

"Just… Stay safe, okay?" Soul pleaded, "Without you, I'd- I don't know what I'd do." 

"I always stay safe, so you have nothing to worry about!" 

Soul laughed quietly. Despite his concern, it was a little amusing. "You can hardly go anywhere without tripping over your own robe and almost landing flat on your face." 

"I guess that's true," Heart hummed, "I'll try to be more careful." 

"Thank you," Soul sighed in relief. 

"Do you want to talk about anything else, or are you done for today?" Heart asked him. 

"I have more to talk about," Soul answered quickly, afterwards adding a tiny, "Please." 

"Alright," Heart smiled at him, and Soul could tell that Heart was trying to understand even if he had no way to relate. 

"I really want to know how you've adjusted so well to how things are now," Soul admitted. 

Heart looked away from Soul, out to the ocean view, deep in thought. "I haven't really adjusted at all, honestly. It's so weird here. I feel so out of place, powerful, yet so intensely. I feel almost like a radio that's up too loud. Does that make sense?" 

Soul shook his head, "It doesn't make sense. Yet, I think I understand." 

"This place is uncomfortable. I feel like I'm too much, too loud, to be a part of it." 

"Yes, uncomfortable is the perfect word for it," Soul agreed, "I love Soma. This is my home. Yet, without my world of sorrow, I almost feel like I'm tv static." He paused a moment, thinking over his last statement. "Yeah, I'm aware that that last bit didn't make any sense either." 

"I think some feelings cannot be expressed through anything besides goofy, specific metaphors," Heart shrugged. 

"I think so too," Soul agreed. 

"Do you also feel like you're too loud?" Heart wondered. 

"No," Soul explained, "I feel like I'm too quiet to fit in here." 

"How so?" 

"Everything here is a little overwhelming. The colors give me headaches if I'm around them too long, and it seems like almost everybody is a little too upbeat to properly get along with, even if I can comfort them when they're sad," Soul told him, "What about you? Why do you feel too loud?" 

"The people here. They are sad enough to feel estranged from me, but they aren't sad. And all of them want to be happy, but nobody actually wants to pursue happiness. I'm so bright, too. I mean, look at me, I wear this bright red, and it used to blend right in but now I stick out like a sore thumb. I feel _wrong_ , Soul." 

"Have you noticed that the people seem to not lean towards either side without influence?" Soul wondered, "I mean, none of them are ever happy or sad by default, they're just a little bit of both." 

"I have noticed that," Heart answered, "But we're still the same." 

Both boys sat in silence, mulling over the fact. They were still the guardians of emotion, yet they couldn't figure out how to help anybody who wasn't expressly joyous or sorrowful. Soul broke the silence, "Heart, I'm sorry. I couldn't see that you were struggling too." 

"No, it's okay. I guess I've been hiding things from you too," Heart muttered, "I guess that makes me a bit of a hypocrite, huh?" 

"It's alright." 

"Do you think that we'll figure this place out someday?" 

"Yeah. Together, we can overcome this," Soul mused, "We always have before." 

"Yeah. Yeah! Together! That gives me an idea!" Heart yelped, perking up, "If everybody right now is just a little bit happy and a little bit sad all the time-!" 

"Then we both need to be there!" Soul finished, catching on to his brother's revelation. Heart beamed, and though Soul didn't smile, he looked way less down than usual. Soul lifted up a hand weakly, and Heart high-fived it with his usual energetic gusto. "I'm proud of you for figuring that out Heart." 

"Actually, I think you figured it out first, you just didn't realize it," Heart pointed out. 

"Whatever, I'm still proud of you." 

Heart smiled. "I'm proud of you too. I know you think you didn't grow much over the course of our adventure, but I think you did. I think you grew a lot." 

A small gap of silence stretched between them. "Thanks," Soul replied finally, his voice small and humble. 

The brothers sat there for a while longer, listening to the sound of the waves hitting the cliff sides. For once, they both felt comfortable in the joined Soma. Feeling at ease was a much welcomed comfort after everything. Soul couldn't be more grateful for his brother's concern for him, although he did feel a little guilty over it. He shook off the guilt, though, remembering what Heart had said to him. _I get worried when you bury your feelings and pretend you're alright when you're not, because then I don't know how to help you._ If this is really what Heart wanted, to listen and to help him no matter how worrying it may be, then Soul could comply. 

Heart stood up, and offered a hand to Soul. Soul took it, and Heart pulled him up to his feet. "Come on, let's go home," Heart suggested. 

As they walked back through the forest, Soul admitted, "I really did need to talk about it. You were right. Thank you, Heart."


End file.
